This is not a typical romance.
I didn’t fall on one knee to ask Leslie to marry me, even though that move was somewhat possible twenty years ago. It was a drawn-out discussion, the question of what we might be to each other, beginning with her rather pointed query about my intentions after our first vacation to Maine. “Honorable,” I stammered. “My intentions are honorable.” Then we both laughed all the way back to Boston. Our conversation continued across several coast-to-coast trips.
I’m still not sure when the decision crystalized. It could have been catalyzed by my diagnosis in 1996, the kind of life event that either cements a relationship or crushes it. Before all the tests and the consultations, all the adaptive gear and shifts in accommodations, I felt her devotion and loved her goodness and trusted her perspective. Always. As a constant. Her tender, generous heart. Those keen insights. That captivating mind. Her joyful and graceful lines.
So we made the announcement to her family. We planned a fondue feast. The table was set. Our guests were assembled. The dinner was ready. Tah! Dah! We delivered the main course and shared our big news, just as the table cloth caught fire. The meal was saved, though the linens were singed past saving. None of us seemed to mind a little scorching. And that would bode well for the future, too.
Together we have paved a path sans compass or map or even a clear view of True North. This journey has required faith and hope and sacrifice, like all marriages. May ours continue with all the fire we can muster, my love.
Two generous hearts beating as one. Your essay brought tears to my eyes.
So beautiful, Randy. Your writing brought tears to my eyes. Now instead of trying to explain with my own words how “atypical” and amazing Leslie and your marriage are, I can point people to this blog.
Wow.
Lovely Randy for your lovely wife! Have you considered writing a volume of poetry. I can imagine a chap book!
Great suggestion, Rebecca. When I started this blog a year ago, I thought it might lead to something else. But I didn’t know what form it might take. So I just kept posting. A chapbook project could help me figure out the threads and themes.
Randy,
Your words are inspiring and give hope to those of us who are struggling with the new paths our lives have taken. It helps to read such an uplifting and graceful acceptance of where life has taken you. I will try to remember the difficulties encountered by many of my fellow passengers on life’s road when I feel frustrated and irritated with my own.
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us.
Joan
Your devotion to each other inspires me to reach my feelings in honesty as you and Leslie have done so well. I cherish this great love story and the courage with which you have faced so many difficult issues. It is a pleasure to see the way you bring joy and laughter to your marriage. Happy anniversary.
Love always, Mom(Jessie)